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The 1st Annual Baptist Games!

Posted on July 27, 2006 by kevin bussey


Since every other special interest group has its own games, the Southern Baptist Convention recently announced the 1st Annual Baptist Games. It will be held in San Antonio, TX at the SBC Center! Here is a list of the planned competition:

  1. Dunking (Baptism) Contest-
  2. Fried Chicken Eating Contest-
  3. BBQ Debate–Pork vs. Beef
  4. Coffee Quarters (no alcohol will be allowed) :)
  5. Debating Contest
  6. Foot stomping Contest
  7. Best Dressed Contest
  8. Best Voice Contest
  9. Interpretive Movement (Baptists don’t dance)
  10. Cage match wrestling- Calvanist vs. Arminians
  11. Fund raising contest
  12. Church splitting contest (Banana Split design)
  13. Business Meeting oversight contest
  14. Roberts Rules of Order Recognition Contest

All events will be judged on the following:

  1. Form
  2. Style
  3. Speed
  4. Quantity

What other events would be appropriate?

Filed under: amazing, fun

« Tow truck operator shares his faith with Darth Vader! High School Football Coach OK’d for Prayer! »

17 Responses to “The 1st Annual Baptist Games!”

  1. Sean, on July 27th, 2006 at 12:33 am Said:

    I’ll enter all events, providing that Jan Cruch is invited to present the winners’ awards.

    I have a fetish for mummified females.

  2. Sean, on July 27th, 2006 at 12:34 am Said:

    I’ll enter all events, providing that Jan Cruch is invited to present the winners’ awards.

    I have a fetish for females who appear to have been embalmed.

  3. Alan Cross, on July 27th, 2006 at 12:53 am Said:

    Are we going to have weight classes like in boxing?

    Can we have a hat design contest?

    You forgot Bible Drill!

    Minister of Music Rap Competition using lyrics from the Baptist Hymnal

    A Jeopardy style game show with a reading of current events to be matched by appropriate Bible prophecy verses. “I’ll take Ezekiel 38 for $200, Alex.”

    This would have to take place before the convention, but I would love to see a Reality show based on a church Vacation Bible School. Scary.

    And, of course: A church softball tournament. At that point, we would need a fine display of the fruit of the Spirit. “SAFE!!!” “No, Mr. Umpire, I must object. I was out. I didn’t make it after all. I MUST be honest.”

  4. words are not enough » Contextless Links [7.26.06]…, on July 27th, 2006 at 12:56 am Said:

    [...] Kevin Bussey on The Baptist Games [...]

  5. Tammy Pate, on July 27th, 2006 at 1:29 am Said:

    Haha! This is great!

    Alan - Love the Bible Drill and Softball Tourney, definite must-haves!

    BK - I think Roberts Rules should be first! LOL

  6. Joe Kennedy, on July 27th, 2006 at 3:42 am Said:

    Oh my gosh. Roberts Rules of Order. Ugh. Gag me.

    A bon fire to start the Games. A bon fire where all the churches ceremonially burn their copies of Roberts Rules of Order.

  7. Tom Bryant, on July 27th, 2006 at 7:51 am Said:

    How about “Largest Beer Belly” oops, Maybe better make that Biggest Desert Belly”

  8. ryanday, on July 27th, 2006 at 9:08 am Said:

    You could have a marathon event for long-winded preachers, or a weight lifting event for those with the giant KJV Bibles!

    The interpretive movement category is hilarious. I remember as a senoir in high school, I had to hide the fact from my church that I took a girl to prom! That’s legalism at it’s finest!

  9. Debra Smith, on July 27th, 2006 at 9:34 am Said:

    There should be an “Alliterative Application” event. How many sermon points can you make (or should I say contrive) that begin with the same letter? And there needs to be a schmooz-a-thon: who will last longest at back-slapping, hand-pumping, fake-smiling, “bless-your-heart”ing?

    We can also have a special event for seminary profs: No-Doze lecturing. Who can lecture longest before the first student starts dozing? This event, to make things interesting, should take place in a warm room right after lunch. (Ummm…note to any of my profs who might read this: I have NEVER fallen asleep in your class…though sometimes I’ve wanted to… :) )

  10. kevinbussey, on July 27th, 2006 at 9:56 am Said:

    Great ideas. Keep them coming. The competition committee will look at the all.

  11. Jamie Wootten, on July 27th, 2006 at 12:44 pm Said:

    How about WMU mud wrestling! Errr, on second thought maybe not.

    Joe,

    I concur 100% about the RRO bonfire. First thing I did in my church was to throw that stupid thing out!

  12. Bryan Riley, on July 27th, 2006 at 3:56 pm Said:

    A contest to see who can look the most somber while singing Amazing Grace, What a friend we have in Jesus, and Indescribable.

  13. Wes Kenney, on July 27th, 2006 at 5:20 pm Said:

    Could we have a furniture contest? How about a prize for the largest, most intimidating pulpit?

  14. John W, on July 27th, 2006 at 11:23 pm Said:

    How about:
    1. Casserole olympics - best, fastest, most items, best use of leftovers.
    2. The “Amen” Relay - teams must time “Amens” appropriately up and down the pew.
    3. Door Greeter Smile-off and Hand-Shake-off
    4. Bible Tally - who has the most unused Bibles? :)

  15. Sean Pease, on July 28th, 2006 at 1:01 am Said:

    How could you not have an acrostic competition? Could use points values from Scrabble.

    Finger pointing / pulpit slapping.

    Longest invitation competition.

  16. Bryan Riley, on July 28th, 2006 at 3:19 am Said:

    Longest invitation… that is good. Could include something for those who know every word and verse to Just As I Am. :)

  17. batgirl, on July 28th, 2006 at 10:43 am Said:

    Best Grapevine. Who can start a rumor and make it come out at the other end sounding the worst.

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