[From WFTV]
A new survey by CareerBuilder.com finds 32 percent of workers have done just that in the last year. Workers who are chronic offenders may be running out of ideas. Forty-one percent of hiring managers said they have received unusual or suspicious sick day alibis. Sixty-two percent did not believe them, according to the survey. When asked to share the most unusual excuses employees gave for missing work, hiring managers offered the following examples:
1) Employee was poisoned by his mother-in-law.
2) A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.
3) Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.
4) Employee called from his cell phone, said he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and no one was around to let him out.
5) Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.
6) Employee’s wife said he couldn’t come into work because he had a lot of chores to do around the house.
7) One of the walls in the employee’s home fell off the night before.
8. Employee’s mother was in jail.
9) A skunk got into the employee’s house and sprayed all of his uniforms.
10) Employee had bad hiccups.
11) Employee blew his nose so hard, his back went out.
12) Employee’s horses got loose and were running down the highway.
13) Employee was hit by a bus while walking.
14) Employee’s dog swallowed her bus pass.
15) Employee was sad.
Read about it here.
What are the best excuses you have heard? or have you used? 
I like number eleven.
3) Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.
Although I have never been married, or impregnated anyone, I saw some sort of documentary on this on National Geographic or something. According to the video it is “Mother Nature’s Way” of making a fair proportion of men extra sympathetic to their wives. Wondered if it was really true, and if it is, no “real man” is going to publicly admit to this, much less see a doctor!
When my wife was pregnant, I prayed that everything would go perfectly well with her and that I would be put on bed rest. The important half of my prayer was answered…
Try this one: a woman from a temporary agency was hired to do reception and clerical work at my former workplace. She seemed quite reliable at first, but we noticed she was making too many personal phone calls, and one day she was fairly late coming back from lunch. The manager spoke with her about these things, and she apologized. The next day, she did not show up, and she did not call in, so a call was placed to the agency. Around 1:00pm, the woman walked in with a very sad tale to tell us. She said she was on the subway coming to work for the usual starting time, but she was delayed due to a funeral. The woman’s replacement arrived the next morning, on time.
I think its funny when people call in sick, and they work really hard to sound sick. “Yyyyeeeaahhh, mmmaaannn, um, cough, hack, I’m just not, cough cough, gonna make it in today. Iiiiii””’mmmm rrrreeaaalllly sick, man, you know?”
I don’t have to call in sick anymore, but when I did, I would just call and say, “not feeling good, going to stay in bed today.” No trying to fake a sick sound.
My kids used to say they were too sick to go to school, but then at around 3:30 in the afternoon, they would make a miraculous recovery, and be able to go to the mall. Amazing!
This sounds like the final verse of a David Allen Coe song. The one that begins, “I was drunk the day my mom got out of prison…”
I can’t think of any good reasons to call in…
And I’ve really not heard any good ones either.
When I was an HR manager, someone actually told me that they couldn’t come into work that day because they couldn’t find their shoes.
They only had one pair?????????
Susan,
Thanks for stopping by, that is funny.
Blast it! I would LOVE to use No 9! Here, though, it’s 100% guaranteed that nobody would believe me.
A girl in my office, on her first day back from maternity leave, called in because none of her work clothes fit and she had given away all her maternity clothes…so she had nothing to wear. She didn’t think ahead of time that maybe, just maybe, her body was just a tad different than it had been nine months earlier.
Here’s one, my bossed used. “I will be late for work this morning I am stuck in the elevator, I think I should be out after lunch.” Being the boss who was going to question her stupid lie?
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