When life coach and televangelist Paula White went into her marriage 18 years ago, she thought she’d end her life with her husband, Randy. Divorce was not anything she ever wanted to happen, she recently said. Now separated from Randy and continuing her own ministry, White has found herself in the midst of a wide debate as more evangelicals show acceptance of divorce.
“The fact is as many have been critical or judgmental [about the divorce] … I’ve also found thousands that have reached out to me in a way that maybe they never did,” said White in a live interview Monday with CNN’s Larry King.
The famed pentecostal preacher’s divorce announcement in August compounded with the divorce case of another power couple – televangelist Juanita Bynum and Bishop Thomas Weeks III – that same week fueled discussions on whether Scripture allows the separation of marriage partners as both couples received support.
“I think conservative Christians are becoming more liberalized in the sense of, I guess, making more room for the acceptance of divorce and remarriage,” said Mark Galli, Christianity Today magazine’s managing editor, according to Religion News Service. “You’ll see a lot of churches that plunge right in and have divorce ministries. … Marriage is a really difficult thing in our culture right now.”
Meanwhile, theological conservative John Piper called the widening grounds of legitimate divorce “tragic.”
Both Paula White and Bynum continue to have a strong following even after their highly public divorces. White has out a new book, You’re All That!, and Bynum said she believes her experience may broaden her ability to reach people.
Read about it here.
[From me]
How can we as believers talk about family values when ministry and career seem to be valued more than the family? I agree with John Piper. This is tragic. Marriage isn’t a high school steady that you break up with and move on. God can and does use people who have experienced divorce. But it is not His ideal. Divorce happens to fine people and many never wanted it. But shouldn’t people regardless if they are in ministry or not be doing whatever it takes to save their family instead of making statements like it has broadened my ministry?
Our priorities should be God, family, and ministry in that order. But too often people confuse ministry with their personal relationship with God. It is a sad day for God’s Church when the divorce rate among believers is the same as those outside the faith.
What do you think?
I think people, whether they are believers or not, should try to save their marriage. I don’t understand why the advice should apply only to Christians. Anyone who would sacrifice any close personal relationship, including marriage which would be among their closest relationships, fails to understand what is most valuable in this life.
But I wouldn’t go as far as to say that they should do whatever it takes. Sometimes, a marriage can be bad enough so that everyone in the family, including spouses and children, are better off if the marriage dissolves.
This whole shocking ordeal is about money. At the beginning of their announcement, they both proclaimed that “God was leading them in different directions.” What god? Which god? This is contrary to His Word, therefore, I do not believe they heard or even hear from God.
The millions and millions of greasy dollars that these pimps and others like them have pocketed for their own greed is astonishing.
We were warned all over the New Testament about these wolves in sheep’s clothing. The name it and claim it, grab it and blab it, prosperity gospel is a LIE and a con artist’s game.
What saddens me is that they tell you to send your last bit of money to them so God will heal your sick child, heal your marriage, and/or give you a miracle, etc. and it’s a LIE FROM THE PIT OF HELL. But sadly people do it.
If we would stop giving them money, and give to the shelters and homeless in our own communities instead, these snakes would slither back into their holes.
oh, and I forgot…..
Please don’t tell me that these ministries are doing good in the world and that they are leading people to God, and getting people saved.
The jesus they sell is a fake cash-cow jesus whom they have invented in their own minds. They are leading people to hell, and if you got saved under one of these dispicable ministries, then you’d better make sure you are saved, because these pimps are NOTHING about God or Christianity.
Most ministries do good things to one degree or the other. But as long as there are children starving in the world, they should be sending ALL the church’s money to help the sick, poor, widows, and orphans. After all,
that’s who Jesus ministered to…..and we never once see him make someone rich in money, or material gain, just rich in spirit and faith.
Wake up!
I agree with you and Piper that marriage was meant to be a long term commitment. No wonder we have so many Christians who are only half committed to God. They cant even commit to a relationship with another Human being. Pipers Sermon- Let love be Genuine is worth listening to.
This has always broken my heart….
My wife and I have had differences… and struggles… and thank God we didn’t get a divorce… we were committed to not divorcing…
It breaks my heart for them, for their example, and just for the state of our country…
All of our life experiences broaden our ministry. Divorce is no different from the myriad of other unpleasant things that shape our lives.
John Claypool’s, Tracks of a Fellow Struggler deals with his experience of going through the death of his 8 year old daughter from leukemia. Claypool’s marriage couldn’t survive the loss of a child. His divorce ended his ministry in Baptist churches, but it didn’t end his ministry. I’m not able to assess whether Claypool’s divorce was o.k. or not, but I do feel pretty comfortable thinking that Claypool didn’t divorce because he was tired of “going steady”.
I’m not comfortable making a blanket statement that sounds like familiolatry.
A3,
Good point about everyone.
TBN,
Thanks for stopping by.
Jeremy,
Good to hear from you. I love Piper’s stuff.
Avery,
Unfortunately you are right about our nation.
OLM,
I agree about the blanket statement. I don’t know Claypool but that sounds tragic. I said that God can use all situations but in Paula White there was nothing. Divorce is just way too common.
Son,
May I as your Father, along with your Sister and Wife who commented yesterday, say that I am so proud of you and your integrity.
As you made the hard decision Wednesday to resign from your church, you did not play the “Blame Game” and rip those who hurt you and your family. Your concern was for God and God’s family, his church and to protect your family.
When we take the “High Road”, we meet so many wonderful people. Son, you are a man of God. I don’t say this just as your Father but as an honest observation. I want to say publicly, I am proud of you as a husband, a father, a pastor, a man of God and my SON.
Dad – “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” III John 4
This is Paula’s second divorce…and it is tragic. At one point she was a faithful member of the Church of God–my heritage.
It’s a sham, scam, and shame what’s going on now.
Boycott TBN – You & I are on the same page! I was going to make the same comment: It’s all about the money. No way do these folks intend to give that up.
It is important to distinguish between divorce and what is going on with White. Of course divorce is terrible. No one knows that mroe than one who has been through it.
White is so quickly stating that God can use her imperfections because she likes that money. She cannot afford to lay low for a year or so, allow time to heal. For her, it seems that it is all about the celebrity, and if you lay low, they forget about you, and that’s not good for her bottom line.
As a divorced person, I am living proof that God can forgive, and use people in bad situations. Divorce is way too common in our country, and it is not God’s ideal, but I’m glad that we serve a God of grace and mercy.
BUT GOD LOVES YOU MORE THAN HE LOVES YOUR MINISTRY!
And yes, I’m shouting!
Some please tell Paula (and Randy) and all the others.
I think the correct order of priorities is: God, spouse, children, everything else.
While I personally understand how difficult marriage can be (and I am in a still young 6th year of marriage), we need to be serious about something on which God places an extremely high value. True marriage is a shadow and symbol of the supernatural union between Christ and the Church, and to treat marriage lightly is to make light of that union. While I won’t go as far as requiring that people who get divorced should leave public ministry, I think that the church should view divorce like other grievous sins such as murder, theft, pornography, etc. Therefore, the same skepticism that a murderer, thief, or pornographer would receive when attempting to engage in ministry should be applied to someone who gets divorced. They should at least step down for a period of time until the sinful behavior is addressed.
I hate this stuff.
It raises such ridiculous questions. I’m sure they are in terrible pain and all, but I sit out here getting an impression that people in those positions sometimes think they are just flat above it all.
I think that is sad.
Hope you are doing well today. Praying for you.
Anjuan,
I’m with you. Let’s call divorced people the same thing we call murderers, thieves, pornographers, and all those filthy, vile sinners. While we’re at it, lets lump divorced people into the same lump as child molesters, father-stabbers, and mother rapers. Sinners. They don’t belong anywhere near a pulpit.
While we’re at it, let’s keep people from ministry who are prideful, gossips, and people with bad credit. And people whose children are rebellious. And whose wives cannot control their tongue. And people who have let their reputation go.
Of course, now that we are limiting them, we may face a serious shortage of pastors, but what the heck, right?
Or maybe we could recognize that it isn’t the sin of one’s past that makes one qualified for ministry, it is the position of one’s heart before Christ. Who, by the way, is still in the business of grace and mercy.
jason,
Hey, let’s not leave out atheists! What are we, chopped liver??
Good post, and great comments. God is all about relationship, restoration, reconciliation, and loving people. God hates divorce. He doesn’t hate those who get divorced and neither should we; moreover, He understands being shunned all too well, but divorce doesn’t glorify Him or His purposes. The comments about the god of money (and the god of self) in these sorts of matters is true, and those same gods are often the ones that separates a great many marriages.
Hey, Recovering Pharisee! I was not going to comment because I felt that others have addressed all the issues but one line at the end of your post is bugging me. What do you mean by, ‘But too often people confuse ministry with their personal relationship with God.’?
In my worldview there is no such thing as real ministry apart from our deepening relationship with God. Real ministry is an adventure with God that takes us into a more and more intimate relationship with him. All other forms of ‘ministry’ are just pop psychology dressed in ministerial robes. But maybe I do not understand you here?
Your father’s comment brought a tear to my eye. God bless you as you go through this time of transition. God bless your father for being a blessing to his son.
GOD LOVES YOU more than HE loves “your ministry”….
Always remember that….
Thanks Phil, that is exactly what Kevin is saying. I understand now. True ministry does flow from our relationship with God but our value is always based on what Jesus did for us- not what we do for Him (ministry).
It is 7am EST and I have just spent 2 1/2 hours on the phone,in fellowship, with my accountability partner , “Jim” in Florida prior to reading this blog.
Our conversation addressing this issue of televangelists, conservative christians vs. liberal “diluted christianity”, and this lost world.
I firmly believed that any marriage formed before and with God can withstand any trial, attack, or infidelity IF, (and this is paramount) the marriage is fully committed, submitted, dedicted and consencrated to our Bridegroom Jesus Christ.
Unfortunately the belief is that if “two become one”. This infers each is less than “1″ or a whole completed person and a 50-50 marriage will not last. It must be 100% + 100%. Submitted to God, it then becomes “100% + 100% + infinity”. A three fold cord is not easily broken. ( Ec. 4:12)
I believe God hates divorce and it is unbiblical. The #1 game of the flesh and the deceiver satan are lies that help us “reshape information to justify our behavior. ”
The flesh response to separate and divorce are founded on lies and this losts world’s morals, beliefs, and gods. (* ie: money, steeotypes, material gain, and personal satisaction)
This opinion comes from a man divorced 7 years. Whose wife believed “God hates divorce”. A husband who sinned many times against God and His wife and was forgiven repeatedly. A wife who found comfort from anopther man in church and subsequently fell into sin herself. The point?
I love my X-wife more today than I ever did when we were married. I even love her new husband. How and Why? One word: Jesus! May He knock loudly for you today as He did for me 17 years ago.
I was forgiven but lived under the lie of condemnation. Not condemnation from The Lord but comdemnation from man. It wasn’t until I received the forgiveness that I was able to receive His Love (see Romans 5:5). Anything that had occurred in my marriage could have been overcome by the Blood of The Lamb. We responded in our flesh and choose divorce .
Am I useful today in ministry? I pray I am . I certainly know I am more usable today than I was when I was married- married to this world that is.
What happened between my x wife and I is no ones business except God’s. Today I counsel still against couples divorcing and encourage them to recive counsel from the best; Jesus Christ, Wonderful Counselor. God can use any sitution in any fashion HE wants; so I don’t judge anyone. It’s not my job. It only allows me to take focus of my relationship and walk with the Lord and place it on someone else.
Remember on Truth always: Jesus Loves You for HE is Love.
Get in The Word (The Holy Bible). It is The Truth and If the Truth is The Word and The Word is God and God Is LOve and Love Never Fails, then Truth Never fails.
Thanks Kevin and others for shring your heart.
Completed in Christ alone,
dumbsheep # 654213
recovering Catholic, Baptist, nondenom # 431287
member of The One Body of Christ,
Brother Matt